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I honestly wonder what kind of karma I carry on my back that this shit happens to me…

I’m returning to Argentina in less than two months, and talk to a guy from there on and off. Last week, I sent him a picture of something we were doing in Spanish class because we were talking about the place where he and I met. So anyway, we were having a normal conversation, as friends do, about when I would return to Buenos Aires, when the conversation took a turn for the worst- he asked me something sexual which I misinterpreted as him asking me if I would have a threesome… to which I responded “SHUT up.” But wait, this isn’t even the kicker. He clarified and we moved on…

Since our conversation was a broken combination of English and Spanish, everything seemed even more abrupt.  For example, he asked me out of nowhere, if I knew the pornstar Lisa Ann… because I’m not a fucking weirdo, I didnt. He then continued to tell me that we have similar bodies and that I could be like her if I “trained hard”. So I’m reading all this in my Corporate Finance class, thinking to myself “oh wow, I’m hot shit, it’s not every day someone tells you that you look like a porn star!” Class continued, I neglected to pay attention, thinking only about Argentina and going to the gym as soon as possible (to get my porn star body).

God I hate myself: class ended, and I breezed out of Duffy with my headphones in, swinging my hips around, flipping my hair, the whole nine yards.  I get back to my room, and thought it would be a good idea to look up “Lisa Ann” before going to the gym, just to see exactly who I was dealing with. MISTAKE. The universe swooped in and smacked me hard in the face: this woman is easily forty years old, with giant fake boobs, and won some fucking “milf porn” award. Like die, honestly.

Feeling a major blow to the ego, I took my ass to the gym anyway, where I debated how/if porn stars work out. I ended up laughing at my life on the elliptical and pinched some kind of nerve …

And let the shit show of my life continue!

55 days til Argentina!

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