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This realization all occurred today mind you, starting in the bathroom, ending in Spanish class. 

Reflecting on Argentina, I realized if nothing else, I’ve acquired a ton of girl baby names! I’d write them here but you’d all take them because they’re so chic and exotic (so much so that I wonder if they’ll be butchered in the US, if so, I will relocate). Upon realizing I had almost had the first three letters of the alphabet done (1 A name, 2 C’s), I realized I didn’t have any boy names.

I mean this is nothing new, I never really have had a favorite boy name.  The only boys names I really like are the ones of guys I dated and thats simply not appropriate. In this moment, I brushed off the impending namelessness of my future boy children and went on getting ready for class. 

I get to Spanish, do my circumcision presentation and everything went well.  Then we broke off into groups to discuss the homework, which was supposed to help us practice some verb tense by talking about the type of parents we grew up with.  It should come as no surprise that I made sure everyone knew how victimized I was as an only child with two very strict parents.  I explained how I had a bit of a rebellious stage back in the day as a result of – shockingly – feeling controlled, and hating it. (You guys really weren’t that bad, don’t get emotional, PLEASE)

So then someone asks, “Do you want kids then?” Taken aback, I responded that of course I did, I mean I was just thinking of baby names that morning! Follow up question: “So what kind of parent do you want to be?” And so we start looking into my damned soul: up go the walls and I announced “oh, my kids are doomed!” I mean, most likely they are, but not really. I explained to the group that of course I imagined myself to be a more lenient parent, allowing my daughters to drink at age 16 and have their boyfriends over. Then I started to tell them about if I had boys… but there was no end to my sentence… If I had boys what? I’d be less strict than I would be with my girls? I’d never know what the hell to do with boys! Do you have to control them? I hate control. How do you make sure they don’t end up drug dealers or womanizers or mother beaters? Thankfully, class was dismissed before I got deep enough into my panic.

UNTIL IT REARED ITS UGLY HEAD on the collectivo ride home!!!! I was retelling the story to Alexa and realized I’m going to be a woman who has all boys.  I didn’t have any wood to knock on after I said this out loud either so now I’m doubly screwed.

My kids are most likely screwed regardless of their gender and this is just the latest crisis in my life that in all reality won’t matter until ten years from now when I’m a kid and a half into my marriage. 

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