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1. Physical Appearance

Where to even start: I obviously dress like an East Coast Bitch – way too polished to be born into the Buenos Aires “grunge-chic” (it actually requires more work for me to dress this way, when it’s supposed to be thrown together).

Additionally, I have blonde hair, which everyone from home said would make me blend in perfectly: opposite.  There is not one natural blonde who was born in this city.

Lastly, my figure. Don’t misunderstand me here, because I’d die to have the metabolism of an Argentine, but I am consistently cat called and I can only think to blame this on my “little in the middle but she got much back”-feature (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4he79krseU).  I am also positive this is why I am mistaken for a Brazilian, as I am sure the blonde hair is the reason I am believed to be from Germany.

2. I prefer to run on the treadmill.

This seems obvious, no? Nope, people must not like to sweat here because literally every person I’ve ever seen at the gym, with the exception or foreigners, walks on the treadmill. I’ll give them this: sometimes they walk on a slope.  Bitch, I run on a slope. Anyways, although I have lost all of my muscle mass since living here, I feel like I run really fast, which is nice.

3. Taking Coffee (and water) to go.

I literally am a body of water, like more than everyone else I think. I just drink a shit ton of water because I’m always thirsty. I think this might be because I’m sweating all the time. Sometimes I pause from my water to have a coffee, but it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth which just makes me drink more water.  Point here is that I take my shit to go because the thought of being in class without a water bottle is enough to make me .. do something really drastic. This is making me so thirsty. Damn you dulce de leche candy bar! You’ll just have to do for now..

4. My headphones are white/I own Apple products.

For some bizarre reason, there’s no Apple here.  The first and only Apple store opened right before I arrived here so it’s super rare to see anyone with white headphones because if they want an iPod or an iPhone, it would’ve had to come from another country.  This being said, if you have a Macbook, you are 100% not Argentinean. Lastly, for some unknown reason, everyone has iPads and loves them. Ni idea.

5. I’d never be caught dead straddling my boyfriend in a park.

Buenos Aires is overly tolerant of PDA, even for me, and I don’t think I’m sensitive (or bitter) about that.  As previously stated, it is not uncommon to see a girl straddle her boyfriend in a park and suck face.  Today, my professor asked us why we wouldn’t do that? Didn’t we think going to the park and relaxing and kissing was nice and romantic? I took a sec to think about it, and came to the conclusion that I hate the idea of everyone watching me in that situation and just can’t be comfortable with it. This is all well and good since the boy will hardly kiss me goodbye, much less hold my hand.  Don’t get me wrong, I prefer this to the alternative.

6. Fernet grosses me the F out.

Fernet and CocaCola is the national drink.  It’s cheap, and I’ve drank my fair share, but it’s not good.  It’s bitter, and Rum and Coke is so much better.  Try it someday, but don’t bother ordering your own.

7. I secretly love the techno clubs.

If I was actually local I’d be totally hipster and only hang out in dive bars like my host sister.  But I’m here from the good ol’ US of A and therefore it should come as no surprise that I love the crazy techno clubs where everything goes to shit and all the sluts are black out.  We’re all so damn classy.

8. I am obsessed with vegetables. 

As hinted at, the main food groups here are meat, carbs, and dessert. I had spinach with dinner last night and thought I died, I was so thrilled. Anyway, I mostly eat breaded meat, meat covered in bread, meat on bread, meat next to bread….

This is why I run and don’t walk on the treadmill.