Where to begin, another Saturday, another story. As usual, the beginning will do. 

So after a great day in the countryside, riding horses and relaxing on an excursion my study abroad program had planned, the whole group was planning on going out together to celebrate our friend Terry’s 22nd birthday. 

Originally I was supposed to see the boy tonight as well, but, contrary to popular belief, I actually can’t do it all! I’d also like to take this moment to point out that I put my friends before the boy (don’t expect it too often cause I miss him a little… ok, enough.). Anyways, according to our Facebook group, there was a plan to all meet up at this club Viper but the plan kept changing and eventually went to shit (could’ve seen that coming). So, the night went a little differently than planned but was a huge success.

1st stop: Magdalena’s. This is kind of the go to pre game spot at Costa Rica y Thames, where the atmosphere is chic, music is chill but not sleepy, and drinks are cheap and strong.  The fact that I posted a blog post while drinking a pitcher of Vodka Tea there last night should tell you something (“Too Much Polo”) – although I meant what I said in that post.   Right before we were about to head out some guy comes over to ask us why we were there alone, to which I responded an eloquent, “I don’t know.” It was true… Regardless, he was not cute, but as I do with any new Argentine I meet, we exchanged Facebooks and are now friends… you never know who you’ll see again. (<—- unintentional allusion to occurrences later in the night)

2nd Stop: Viper. We cruise up to Viper, which was a 50 peso taxi ride away, only to be greeted by a line of only guys outside – never a good sign. For the first time I had to lie about my age to get in, which was bull shit, and we had to pay to get in, because we arrived at 2:10 and it was only free til 2 (this mostly represents how my life goes).  We get in, redeem the free drink, and dance like huge assholes alone for a solid 45 minutes.  To give you an idea, I was doing the egyptian pyramid move with the arms and also started swinging one leg around Alexa’s eye level.  A group of guys tried to copy our dance moves but sucked… at least they didn’t bother us.  After no sign of our friends and several failed attempts to contact them, Alexa decided we would in fact taxi to Puerto Madero (completing our triangle of journeys for the night) and go to the bar Terraza, which we had been to before and loved.  Which brings me to the next stop…

3rd stop: Terrazas.  Last time we were there we got in with a promoter, so we kind of just asserted ourselves by avoiding the masses flooding toward the entrance (mind you it was 3:30, prime arrival time).  Bastard my life is, we got stuck with a girl for a bouncer, who asked for our IDs (which of course I didn’t have), but I pulled some spanish out of my ass explaining how we knew a promoter and he is our friend but he didn’t know we were coming ya-da-da. It worked, and we thought we were in the clear but ended up paying fifty pesos to get in, which in reality is $10USD so I shouldn’t complain. So we’re dancing, doing our thing, (for some reason I’m wearing my leather jacket and was at a natural body temperature for once) and we meet some guys.  It was no great experience, except they thought we were Argentine, which is always a compliment.  Alexa made out with her weirdo while I avoided mine by bending backwards and putting my face in my shoulder. Seeing what was happening with her, I grabbed her and ran away. But it continues… 

We eventually found our friend, who got us into VIP where we danced on white leather couches like true Americans (all ass). We got a lot of Asian attention.  Alexa thought she saw the guy we met the first day we got to Argentina who we thought was a pro soccer player. I assured her she didn’t.  I also almost fell off the couch but played it off as a little jersey-turnpiking. I’m sure it was the epitome of sexy. 

I convinced Alexa to relax for 2.5 seconds and we sat on the couch with a drink. The calm didn’t last long, and we returned to the techno music, neon lights, and sweaty bodies. She had texted the fake-pro-soccer player asking where he was, and insisted we should go meet him and his friends for just a second. I had no interest in doing so but obviously complied. So we meet up on the back patio with the guys we first met in Argentina, Nahuel (soccer boy), Martin, Andres, and one more new one.  Andres put his sweater around me, but as soon as Martin arrived he was out of there, because Martin really wants to fall in love with me.  I swear I’m not even being a snob, he is just… enamorado, they say. He quickly reminded me that he thinks I look like Stifflers Mom from American Pie, which I hated last time so I don’t know why he thought that was a good idea.  At this point, Andres had now wrapped his sweater around Alexa’s shoulders and was speaking very close to her face. Martin was asking me to kiss him and about first impressions and blah blah but I got annoyed and told him that both Alexa and I had boyfriends. At this point, Andres had changed Alexa’s kiss on the cheek into a full make out sesh.  I announced we were leaving.  Upon standing up, Nahuel comes over.  He whisks Alexa around and they are dancing, to which Andres is pretend crying on my shoulder.  I assure him there will be others and Alexa and Nan start making out. I announced a universal “CHAU”, grabbed her baby little wrist, and ran through that club, pummeling anyone who ignored my rampant “permiso”‘s.  I mean, sorry? 

Anyway, back to the story. I was proud of this girl. I’m usually the shit show! Holding her up, both of us hysterically laughing walking down the stone path way to find a cab, I felt accomplished and happy for her. 

4th stop: Kentucky Pizza.  Earlier in the night, Alexa had pointed out that everyone always goes to Kentucky Pizza late at night when they’re drunk and we’ve never done that (probably cause we are trying to be skinny) and we should (it’s tough to say no). So, this girl thinks she knows the address, and we end up walking to Kentucky Pizza, arriving around 6am. It was a good pizza, I’ll give them that. 

Walking out, the sky was lightening.  This, among the nights activities, made me want to vomit or perhaps kill Alexa.  I resorted to monotone complaining, and we shared a cab home. 

Overall: Success. 

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